Coming to a rink near you… The Game-Killer (or, why I’m unintentionally ruining hockey).
I wrote in a recent post that the Elite League is providing some of the best entertainment in UK sport. And I still maintain that view; take for example the 13 goal Edinburgh v Hull thriller in December. Or the Challenge Cup semi-final this Saturday in Braehead, where the Clan won against the Panthers, the Glasgwegian side heroically hanging onto a slender one goal lead to beat the current cup holders.
Unpredictable, exciting, can’t-tear-your- eyes-away entertainment. That’s how I sell it to my non hockey-loving friends. And it really can be. Just… Not when I’m there. I can’t deny it any longer: sorry Elite League clubs, but I’m clearly bad for business.
I was cautiously optimistic as I journeyed south for my first ever trip to the Motorpoint Arena in Sheffield, as they took on Dundee in their only game of the weekend, odd scheduling bearing in mind the number of games they still have in hand. So the Steelers were likely to be fresh and ready to take on the world. Dundee were a team I’d seen early in the season when in all honesty they’d looked a bit clueless, but since then they’ve had a coaching change, brought in a couple of new players and pieced together some decent performances, scoring plenty of goals against big teams along the way, so there was no reason why it shouldn’t have been a competitive match-up.
First impressions of Sheffield? Well, I liked the nice shiny white ice and the general orange-ness of the tango’ed Steelers fans, and I felt excited, nay, privileged, to hear the dulcet tones of the one and only Simmsey doing the announcing. In less salubrious news, and in a slamming indictment of the intelligence of Yorkshire-based dancing girls, the cheerleader who was positioned behind us leant over and asked me where Dundee was. I gave her a fairly specific answer. She returned to her friend, also a cheerleader, clearly a party to the very same geography-based quandary, and summarised helpfully, ‘Scotland’. Excellent. I should have gone home then as that was the highlight of my evening.
And so to the game. It’s a funny thing being a neutral in a sport that you love so much. I wouldn’t be able to do it in football; it’s losing its appeal for me enough already without throwing forced impartiality into the mix. But I would happily take in any Elite League game for the sheer love of it. And here begins the problem. If it’s a cracking game, as previously discussed, you’re sorted. If it’s a bit, well, crap, and you don’t even have the ‘they’re my team and I love them no matter what’ factor to get you through it, it’s a poor state of affairs. If you can’t while away the interminable minutes feeling disproportionately proud of player X’s beautiful skating, or calculating the precise dimensions of any given team beard, it somewhat takes the edge off the whole experience. And this game was a bit, well, crap.
It just never really got off the ground. It was stunningly low on penalties which, whilst probably being ideal for the purist, doesn’t make for much of a spectacle for the neutral. The first period ebbed away at quite a lick, vast swathes of time passing between whistles, yet nothing really occurring during these long tranches of play. When Dundee took their first penalty and Sheffield had a powerplay things picked up briefly, and it seemed inevitable the home side would score, Colt ‘the immovable object’ King proving strong as usual in front of goal, tipping in a pass from Jeff Legue to break the deadlock. I wish I could say that lots more exciting things happened in the first period, but to be honest, I’d be telling a lie.
The second period had barely started when Luke Fulghum scored the Steelers’ second. I was standing in the queue for hotdogs in fact. But you could sense even from outside at the concession stand that despite the amount of time remaining on the clock, the game was done and dusted. There was a moment of tension between Dundee’s Brennan Turner and Colt King when my heartrate may have quickened just a shade, but the former appeared to shy away from dropping the gloves with King. Wise? Probably. Boring? Definitely. Filing my nails? I will be next time.
Dundee didn’t have a lot of fight in any area of the ice really, they seemed to be going through the motions, content to take an expected defeat perhaps, and unwilling to risk going all out? They certainly lacked potency. Think of the NEUTRALS Dundee, the NEUTRALS!! And all two of your away fans!! In fairness to the visiting side, they dearly missed sparky goalscorer Jarrett Konkle, sidelined with an injury, and despite attempts by handy-looking new signing Mark Kolanos to liven things up, there was nothing doing. I’d been excited to see the Steelers live having viewed them twice on Sky Sports, but as they never really needed to up the ante, I don’t feel as though I saw the best of them. Bottoms. Is exactly what I said.
I wondered: did everyone just have somewhere else better to be? You could almost see the referees checking their watches. Dundee clearly hadn’t come with any notion of winning and the game sped by and clocked in well under two hours; Dundee were merrily on their way home, the Steelers left the building in carefully chosen disguises, and we stood patiently in the stands wondering if a hockey game would start anytime soon. We could easily have fit another one into our evening what with the early face-off time. It might have been a good one, too.
Oh, Luke Fulghum scored another goal. And Dundee netminder Chris Whitley had a decent game too. Unsurprisingly, they both won man of the match for their respective sides. No-one else had done a lot really, so it seemed fair enough, It finished 3-1. will that do?
Not content with my own weekend’s hockey experience I’ll bring you news of some of the interesting happenings around the league. Starting with the Cardiff Devils, who went on a three game trip to Scotland and came back with all six points, pulling off some gutsy performances despite still missing key players and delighting the army of fans that travelled north of the border. Most notable in their three game weekend was the win over Fife which was a feisty encounter containing three 10 minute misconduct penalties and a game penalty for Chris Frank who personally amassed another 36 penalty minutes across the weekend as a whole. The guy definitely has to be on a bet, right? If he is, he’s winning.
Coventry travelled to Belfast for a double header in which they lost both matches, but provided some great entertainment along the way in what sounded like two very even contests. During the second game there was a heart-warming incident in which Adam Keefe lovingly undressed Brian Jurynec; unfortunately for Jurynec, Keefe’s favourite way to express his love for a fellow professional is with his fists. This exchanging of mutual affection resulted in a cracking fight and proves what a great entertainer Keefe is and that Jurynec too is game to take on anyone. Fun stuff.
Last but by no means least, Braehead saw their biggest ever crowd in attendance for the first leg of their Challenge Cup semi-final against the Nottingham Panthers, and the game proved a brilliant choice for any new visitors to Braehead as the Clan battled to take the win. Sadly they couldn’t keep the level up the following day in Nottingham and the Panthers were the first side to qualify for the final. Their opponents will be either Cardiff or Belfast. Braehead are proving to be a strong, cohesive and talented side this season and I am excited to see them during my next away trip, in two weeks time. At least, I would have been excited. But as has now been proven, the mere fact of my presence will render both games completely flaccid and impotent wastes of time. Sorry Clan fans. I strongly advise you to develop a sudden desire to attend an intensive flower-arranging course that weekend. It’s for your own good.
